Optimized Ric
When it comes to decision-making, product testing, and borderline obsessive research, Optimized Ric is in a league of his own.
If it has a ‘best,’ Eric has found it. He’s done the work. You don’t even have to Google anymore, just text him. Whether it’s beef tallow, a spicy guacamole recipe, or literally anything else, he has a ranked list and a cost-benefit analysis. He saves you time, then tells you exactly how much. Not only does he recommend the best hiking boots, he tells you they’ll save you 13 seconds per mile and $0.07 per hike in joint wear. Optimized Ric is the best version of Eric when you need to make a decision and don’t want to spend 11 hours combing through Reddit, Wirecutter, and a 2007 forum thread with 3 active users. If there is a “least screen time” competition, Eric will out-optimize everyone and win on a laptop-enabled loophole. We don’t know how he became this way, but we’re glad he did.
This version of Ric can recommend the best version of anything, instantaneously.
Watching Eric make a decision on something not yet optimized can be a lengthy experience for some. Also, we hope he never finds a better version of us.
Cooking Ric
If you’re seeking an at-home culinary experience that doubles as a stress test and a live-action reality cooking show, Cooking Ric is an excellent choice.
Cooking Ric provides an unmatched mix of enthusiasm, chaos, and precision in the kitchen. He can take any simple recipe and find a YouTube video that makes it three times as complicated and takes three days instead of three hours, increasing not only the time by an order of magnitude, but also the entertainment value.
In our testing, Cooking Ric broke the record for the world’s slowest eggs, clocking in at just under three hours of continuous stirring. While his commitment is admirable, some users noted that having to spritz meat every 15 minutes for 10 hours with a spray bottle of beer was “frustrating” and “an experience they didn’t consent to.”
This version of Eric is best used in conjunction with his brother, Cody. Together, they offer a dynamic performance, a nonstop debate over everything from the best type of silicone egg fork to which grocery stores across SF may or may not sell piloncillo sugar. It’s a partnership that guarantees both culinary experimentation and emotional exhaustion in equal measure, providing hours of endless entertainment. Comes with an optional “who is the better Berdinis kisser,” though most users have reported little to no interest in this feature.
He will spend 6 days straight making a delicious beef wellington feast for you.
Eggs may contain sugar.
Philosophy Ric
For those who believe conversation should be both enlightening and exasperating, Philosophy Ric is a top pick.
While pricier in terms of time and mental energy, Philosophy Ric offers a premium experience in overthinking, abstract reasoning, and unsolicited Socratic questioning. Philosophy Ric doesn’t solve problems, he deconstructs them until you forget what the question was. If you’ve ever wanted to feel both smarter and profoundly confused, he’s the model for you.
In our long-term testing, Eric consistently turned simple ideas into sprawling existential dialogues. What starts as, “Refilling your blueberry container at the grocery store isn’t stealing,” inevitably becomes, “But how many individual blueberries does it take to constitute stealing?” and a dive into the arguably morally gray areas of produce economics. His signature move is posing questions that sound straightforward until you realize you’re 45 minutes deep into an argument about whether dolphins count as fish.
While he lacks the tangible output of Cooking Ric, Philosophy Ric excels at destabilizing your sense of certainty. Expect sudden conversations about whether you can ever really be inside. He pairs best with patient friends and absolutely no plans for the rest of the day. Note that this version of Ric is not for anyone trying to have a normal, linear conversation.
This version of Ric turns any conversation into an intellectual minefield, and he's great for testing your patience and worldview.
Users noted that he never answers his own questions. In addition, he comes with a high risk of developing philosophical fatigue.
Bathroom Ric
This inexpensive Ric is a solid choice, but is less accommodating and some features are not intuitive.
If you’re looking for an affordable option that still delivers plenty of surprises, Bathroom Ric is our budget pick. While he lacks the polish of higher-end models of Eric, he compensates with sheer unpredictability and a flair for chaos. He’s an unforgettable addition to any shared living space, despite refusing to actually share a bathroom.
In our long-term testing, Bathroom Ric consistently provided a mix of bafflement and mild irritation, qualities that, depending on your household dynamic, may actually enhance your morning routine. On any given day, you might find your hairbrush decisively placed on top of the closed toilet lid as a surprise and/or warning. Your toothbrush, meanwhile, might migrate from next to the sink to the ledge above the stairs.
This Eric is budget-friendly and keeps life interesting.
He might break your trashcan while using it as a squatty potty.
Connect-O-Ric
This upgraded version is the best-of-the-best. The most persuasive version, you'll want to keep him around forever.
Connect-O-Ric doesn’t just build things, he builds communities, clicks them together, and somehow gets everyone working at the same company, living in the same house, and eventually, moving to the same city.
We tested Connect-O-Ric at several community gatherings, including 821 York and friends reunions and the results were surprisingly sturdy. At any event, within minutes, he had convinced multiple people to sign a binding pact to move somewhere if he could get them all to agree.
Connect-O-Ric runs on research, extensive slideshows, and conversation. Setup is simple: hand him an idea related to getting people together and a friend group, then stand back. He’ll do the rest. This version comes with two worthwhile upgrades:
- He doesn’t come with an “off” switch, which many users appreciate.
- He also comes with a hypewoman fiancée who matches his sense of adventure, is equally as invested in the slideshows and convincing, and plans outrageously thoughtful birthday celebrations.
This Eric Will convince you to do things.
When almost all required couples agree to move to a city per the friends relocation pact, his slideshow to convince you to move somewhere else ends up deterring you from moving to the city that has the most yesses.
Also, he steals a two-year-in-advance planned friend reuinion that Paige has already forced everyone to RSVP to for his own wedding. But I guess we'll let that one slide.
We’re ghost writers at Wirecutter and have covered different versions of Rick since 2010. For much of that time, we’ve been testing and evaluating the different versions across multiple life stages. Our testing team includes people who have lived with him, traveled with him, camped with him, went to college with him, shared (half of) a bathroom with him, and have been convinced to do things by him. Our evaluation combines anecdotal data, long-term observation, and testing across the Eastern, Midwest, and West Coast regions of the United States. We’ve compared notes across different social contexts, from spunky attic nights to sending someone in to steal his toothbrush out of his mouth, to ensure our results reflect how Eric performs in real-world conditions. In short, we’ve seen Eric at his best and have vast experience with all versions.
To identify the best version of Eric, we spent more than fifteen years putting multiple iterations through structured and unstructured testing. Each Eric was evaluated for reliability, conversational depth, social stamina, and last-12-eggs-sharing etiquette. This year marks 35 years of Eric, and in honor of that milestone, we revisited every major version to see how far the model has come. Think of this as both a celebration and a longitudinal study, conducted with the joy of friendship, fueled by endless puns and horrible jokes, and built on years of unforgettable memories.